The Chexican

A blip on the blue marble

Course Correction

With the perpetually delayed upswing that I’ve been constantly seeking for over 8 months now underway, I’ve been really pushing myself to get back on track with all of my projects. As demonstrated above, I’ve been unable to undo almost all of the 10 lbs (I weighed 195 in December ’13) I gained over 2 sedentary and gluttonous winter months. I managed to complete a 20 mile week in four days, in spite of being sick since Tuesday the 18th. I broke the chain yesterday because the chest and sinus congestion coupled with the muscle soreness demanded I rest. I’m putting off actively engaging in strength building and weight lifting/body weight exercises, since I’m more focused on burning fat and recovery days for muscle growth are days without cardio. As a compromise, I’ve been doing it lightly to encourage some muscle growth and toning while consciously trying to stay in a running-capable state. I find this progress very motivational. In spite of my physiological circumstances, I invented a figurative “warrior” mentality for myself to adopt, and I’ve been sticking to it. What I thought was going to take four weeks to accomplish I did in only one, which excites me to see the difference in where I actually find myself in a month from now keeping at this pace. Physically, I haven’t noticed a visual difference in my form below the waist, but I can definitely say it feels different down there. Where before my legs felt like giant flesh stumps […]

Admissions

A few confessions: Writing I’ve been purposely writing in an “unattractive” format — long rambling paragraphs with extremely sparing use of media — because of how much I’ve resented my recent circumstances for being my reality. I made myself write about them in order to flex the writing muscles fired up and get back in the habit, but being stuck in a repeating loop of dire financial circumstance limited my written output (and life experiences) in a corresponding fashion. It’s demoralizing to decide to start writing about yourself, only to find yourself having the same pitiful story to tell month after month. So, I’ve been making the effort to capture pieces of it for practice, but have been purposely neglecting to put any real efforts towards readability and aesthetics. Now that that narrative is finally seeing a change, I find myself thinking of great writing ideas and creative projects that I’d like to start turning into something tangible. Smoking In spite of all the running that I do, I’ve long-maintained a very unhealthy smoking habit. I tried curbing it in an effort to whittle it down and phase it out last year, but when the car problems started raining on me, the subsequent stress drove me head first back into the habit. My consumption rate is higher than it ever has been, and maybe it’s age but I’m starting to feel the physiological consequences more and more, and the more I align and commit myself to my goals, the more […]

Reempowered

After a week away from “life” and enjoying this year’s birthday celebrations, I return to my writing another year older and freshly inspired in all my endeavors. In the time since my last entry, things have improved greatly. I’ve managed to knock out a good share of outstanding financial liabilities, and thankfully no new ones have cropped up to replace those settled. The days are getting longer and the weather warmer, so everything is lining up for me to actively start pushing myself back to where I was at the end of December in regard to fitness, and to keep making progress on my other personal projects. Now that I can see the light at the end of what’s been an eight-month-long tunnel, I find myself amazed and excited at the shift in perspective that has come with it. Throughout these past months, I’ve been living a very meager life (one that I’ve captured in detail throughout previous entries). In that time, I’ve had a very mechanical and enthused perspective on life. The stresses of having to exert extreme financial restraint in order to make bill payments and other basic life necessities. When I assessed my situation throughout that time period, I always came out feeling trapped and helpless to enact any change in the matter. All I could see were all my rotating debts and circumstances binding me to my current arrangement out of necessity. I’ve been stretching an income stream that’s smaller than it should be for someone […]

Disempowered

It’s been a long unplanned absence from updates. I’m surprised by how quickly January has passed and given way to a new month. I’m sad to say that last year’s car repair cycle has continued to persist into the new year. When I bought my car in 2011, I got it for a very modest asking price of $1500 as-was. It needed a replacement engine control module in order to get it smog tested and registered, pushing it up to little over $2000. For the first year that I owned it, things were nice and easy. Then early last year, it started systematically breaking down and requiring frequent repair. Out of curiosity, I tallied the totals of my service invoices in a spreadsheet and found that I’ve invested almost $2500 in auto repairs over the past six months. As a result, I’ve spent this entire time period in a rolling state of debt, regularly drawing on future income through direct deposit advances and payday loans. Since my vehicle is the household car and how my roommate and I get to and from work, keeping it up and running takes top priority along with rent and core utilities. This means that I’ve been through spells where I’ve had to forego other basic expenses such as groceries and mobile phone service, and am currently in the middle of one as I try to compensate for the recent wave of repairs, which like those that have come before it cropped up right before […]