Unprofessionalism Halfway through the article, my brow furrowed — the following paragraph was telling me that in this world of constant connectivity and personal branding, the qualities I value most in life (well, save for that last one) are not “professional”. The behaviours that make us human are not professional. Honesty, frankness, humour, emotionality, embracing the moment, speaking up for what you believe, affection, sincerity. Quoting extremely offensive trolls. These are all things that will make some people love you and others hate you. Then i got to the end, and I grinned in complete agreement: This year, I’ve been more myself in public, and taken more opportunities to be unprofessional. Unprofessional in the best possible sense: taking my humanity just as seriously as I take my profession. < p>That line of thinking is why I have no issue writing about certain personal matters and posting them to the web. My weaknesses and failures are just as important and as much a part of me as my strengths and accomplishments, the unpleasant but necessary aspects of my own human experience. I refuse to accept that professional and social success is contingent on denying the negative and distorting reality.
In migrating my self-hosted installation to my previously-abandoned wordpress.com blog, I’ve found myself re-reading past entires as I’ve been going through and changing the visibility on past posts I’d forgotten were still on the web; I archived everything when I was self-hosting, and you know…consistency. One entry that stood out at me was one that I composed back in August of this year regarding my personal journey in isolation throughout 2012. I can vividly recall my mindset when I wrote that: I felt unburdened and free, yet lost. I’d been a highly self-critical introspective mental-emotional train wreck for so long that when I allowed myself to let go and move past that, I didn’t feel like I had an identity of my own. So I wrote about the circumstances, the inspiration behind my decision, and the result (which, admittedly, is something that I’ve done many times before, each one feeling like I failed to capture all I really meant to say). Though the writing was on the wall throughout the entire length of that post, the one thing I didn’t touch upon was what the core issue was: I had been recovering from a conflict of identity and lack of self-esteem — a “midlife crisis” in my 20’s. This is what working through that has been like. Depression I tried to work these things out at the age of 25 when I first identified and acknowledged them, but it was like working a math problem that just didn’t add up. […]
Last week had a really strong start in regards to fitness — I ran my usual 5 mile route on Monday and Tuesday, and managed to complete both runs at a constant pace without slowing down or stopping. After that, things went downhill. I took Wednesday off since I started feeling some aching in my left knee. Thursday, San Diego was visited by rainy weather, and without a gym membership, I gave myself another day off. I easily could have offset the inability to take to the streets by doing a workout at home, but it’s really easy to give into other distractions at home. Once the weekend hit, I caved and gave into lethargic tendencies, and did a whole lot of nothing, in a manner similar to the last time I did this last month around Thanksgiving. I’d be inclined to chalk this up to the holidays and the winter season if it weren’t something of a trend that’s been present throughout the second half of this year. In my efforts towards attaining physical fitness, I’ve had to evaluate and redefine my “relationship” with food. I recognize that I’m no longer growing and am now simply aging and that my caloric requirements have drastically reduced in turn, as well as the fact that my metabolism will continue to gradually slow down as time passes. This is the reality that fuels my motivation. On the other hand, dealing with all the financial hardships that have presented themselves this year has […]
Before I go off to bed for the night, a little something from my DayOne journal earlier today: While I was out on my run today, I had something happen that, despite it’s seemingly minor nature, made me feel really good. Lately as I’ve been going out on my running route down to Balboa Park and back up, I’ve been crossing paths with a blonde haired girl that runs through the area around the same time I usually go. The few times I’ve come across her, it’s been along the same path, one of us passing the other as we make our way through the park. Tonight, she happened to be coming in the opposite direction I was heading. As we drew near, she recognized me and stuck out her arm, open palm facing forward. I reciprocated in kind, and we gave each other a quick high-five as we ran past each other without ceding momentum. Being able to get a feeling of camaraderie from a stranger you’ve never exchanged a single word with — isn’t life grand?
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine started joining me on a few of my 5+ mile jaunts. One night, we started talking about fitness, physicality, and our personal goals in relation to both. It’s not something that I usually talk about in conversation with other people, and I offered up more than I expected I would. I don’t want to run the risk of repeating in depth something that I’m pretty sure I’ve written about before, having been in the “large” body type camp since I was a child, so I’ll stick to the point: I’ve never been skinny or even physically fit for that matter, but I have always been comfortable in my own body. Even though I’ve wanted to change that ever since I hit my early 20’s, that feeling of complacency kept me from feeling an imperative need to implement that change. As we shared about our goals and experiences, I mentioned that my goal was to hit a target weight range between 165-170 lbs. The few times that I’ve shared that tidbit with people, I’ve been met with surprise, as if going that low would be clinically unhealthy for someone with my build. This time was no exception, though the reaction was more one of curiosity rather than that of disapproval. To prove my point, I lifted my shirt up and pinched the excess fat around my midsection between my thumb and forefinger. That’s when I got the big reaction I had initially been […]
When I revisit my headspace back when I was in my teenage years and early 20’s, I remember a paralyzing inability to come up with a response for the question of what I wanted to do in life. I’ve always been pretty technologically inclined throughout my life, so doing something involving computer science or internet technology seemed like a plausible career path. At the same time, I’d started developing a heavy passion for music and found a deep affinity for writing and research. I was pretty capable with image editors and html code as well, and as I kept learning of all the different types of specialized jobs people can have, I found myself facing countless possibilities without any concrete direction as to which vocation to pursue. Eventually I came across an opportunity with a marketing focus, through which I found something that I felt a genuine interest and passion for. My Introduction to Marketing In 2007, I was lucky to be part of a small startup that a close circle of internet friends decided to start. We a plucky group of kids in our early 20’s with a deep love of Japanese rock, a niche music genre that had started taking a modest foothold on the web. Right around that time, Japanese bands started probing for overseas market interest and started experimenting with touring the US. That summer, a supergroup comprised of some of the most prominent artists in the Japanese rock scene scheduled a debut performance in Long […]
After migrating from a self-hosted installation back onto wp.com, I’ve been tied up in other affairs (justifiably so, not just another manifestation of the productivity myth) to hammer out an update. Though I haven’t been on-point about updating, I’ve definitely been sticking to the work behind it. Thanksgiving week was expectedly gluttonous, and I ended up gaining about 3 lbs back, according to the scale. I also think I was weighing in less than I should have, since I wasn’t eating much the week prior because of all the stress. Since then, I’ve been trying to work on my running, but winter makes it a real challenge to push myself out the door once I get home from work. By the time I get home from all the traffic, it’s already dark out and the sunlit hours of the day have been cold lately. Still, I’ve managed to do a decent job at keeping the running habit going, and even set a new best personal time for the 5+ mile route I do down to Balboa Park a few days ago. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my logging process. I started writing about my fitness efforts as an accountability mechanism as well as a journal throughout the process. However, with all the social networks and fitness apps available on the mobile web, it’s so easy to outsource the logging to different services to where blogging about it feels redundant. While they all do a great job tracking activities and overall […]