It’s usually shocking to me when I sit down to bang out a new update how much time has elapsed since my previous post — this time is no exception. It hasn’t felt like much time, but seeing the entry date on the “Day One” entry of 09/01/2013 was really jarring. Sixty-two days in, and comparing the present numbers to those then, I’m seeing that I haven’t made any progress at all.
At the start of October, I found myself having gained some pounds back, pushing me five past the 200 mark. In an effort to correct course, I started trying to get back in the habit of regular exercise and hitting my old 20-mile-a-week goal. The first week of October, I went on one run after a squat/lunge/yoga routine that I pushed myself a little too hard with. That ended up incapacitating me for a good few days. The second week, I went on a run as soon as I was able to move without persistent pain. That went well, but in the days that followed, I was afflicted with a random pain along my right side. It constantly felt like I’d been punched in the kidney for three days. The time throughout the rest of the month, I spent telling myself mentally I would get around to doing things but getting distracted by all the other things going on in life. It’s a pitfall I’ve identified before, and am still prone to falling into. This past week, I resolved to get back on track with the 20 mile goal. I did good on Monday and Tuesday, then lost momentum by giving myself a couple of days off to recover from the resulting soreness. I intended to clock in the last 10 miles over the weekend, but fell ill with what appears to have been a 24 hour bug.
I have to admit, there’s a strong element of frustration in how poorly my body keeps pace with my goals. I don’t feel as if I’m pushing myself as hard as I can/should be. Admittedly, I do it because I try to pace myself – being able to do continuous moderate/low intensity exercise is far preferable to strong bursts that leave me incapacitated and in recovery. Yet even these “minimal” efforts take a toll on me. This, and the prioritization of other forms of productivity, are a big reason why I’ve not made much progress. It’s frustrating to want to engage in a healthy lifestyle and satisfy basic physiological needs, only to feel like it’s not possible to do so.
At present, the only thing I can do is keep pushing and keep trying to go further, even when my body refuses to keep pace. Already, the shift in climate is starting to become an obstacle. With the colder weather settling in and the inability to invest money into a gym membership, I’m going to have to do workouts at home to compensate. This is going to be a challenge in itself, since it’s at home where I’m surrounded by the most possible sources of distraction. Still, I want and need to start seeing some progress reflected in the data, and I have no reason or room for continued failure in this regard.
Get it together, me.